Thursday, August 28, 2008

You Know You Are In Love When...

You long for the day when you will be together...
Your pine for it every single day and hope that someday you will be together.

When there are more and more photos of both of you together...
Did you take pictures the first time you saw it? And click more pictures of both of you after you bought it?

You can't wait to see it again...
Ever felt that the day was dragging and you just wanted to go home and be with it? Did you ever have one of those days when you were not able to concentrate on anything and your mind was somewhere else?

You have a hard time saying "goodbye"...
Ever felt like you are getting addicted to it? Do you have to keep on telling yourself "5 more minutes and then I will stop"?

You don't want to share it with anyone else in the world...
Do you feel extremely possessive about it? Do you feel jealous when someone else looks at it or touches it? Do you feel special because you have it and other people don't?

When you are sitting silent in front of it not because you have nothing to say but because there is no need for words...
You never realize how time flies when you are together. You can sit for hours staring at each other!

Well, if these are the signs of love then probably I am in love with my T.V. and laptop. Now, if only I could transform my T.V./laptop into a tall, handsome, smart, funny, understanding guy at the click of a remote-button/mouse click.

If while reading this post, you were reminded of something (please note, I said something and not someone), then yes you are in love too!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Next Is What?

Faster than a speeding bullet (Thanks to hours of exercising in the gym)

More powerful than a locomotive (Able to withstand the pain of waxing his chest and tweezing his eyebrows)

Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! (Hmm, this bit he cannot do,he still has to walk or take the lift!)

Look up! It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Metrosexual Man!

He's not just on T.V. now! He's on the street with gelled hair and sunglasses. He is in your office wearing a pink shirt (It's so hard to find good colours like lilac, pink for females! All the colours I like are there in the menswear section now!). He's in your salon in the chair next to you getting a facial or his hair straightened or his hands manicured. He's in your living-room watching a chick-flick, in your kitchen helping with the cooking.

I think guys always had these traits but did not express it. Whatever it is, this new metrosexual side is quite a change from the "Me no cook, Me no shop, Me the He-man" kind of mentality. So ladies, if you see your guy fussing about his hair/weight, sharing your night-cream, under-eye gel, face-scrub, face-mask, undergarment, skirt...relax, he is just showing his metro sexual side. Oh, but if the last bit is true, you may want to keep an eye on him.

Monday, August 18, 2008

And The Next Contestant Is

"So, what song are you going to sing today?"

"Song? Sing? I am not a good singer. I sing when I am happy! Or when I want to irritate people."

"Can you dance then?"

"You mean salsa, samba, tango, bharatnatyam?...Uhhh no, I am more of a crazy bhangra-disco kind of dancer."

"Are you smarter than a 5th grader?"

"Ummm...I think I am smart, but 5th grade was a long time ago, I think I must have forgotten most of the stuff. Forget school, I don't even remember half the things I studied in college!"

"Are you ready to answer some embarrassing questions and speak the truth?"

"I am not sure I am ready to disclose my secrets in front of all these people!"

"Are you funny? Tell us a joke."

"Uhhh ok..There was one elephant and an ant..."

"Ohh forget it! We are sick of elephant-ant jokes! Are you a millionaire? Are you ready to fall in love on a reality show?"

"I am still some zeroes away from being a millionaire...Love on a reality show; that's probably the most depressing thing I have heard. And I am not that desperate!"

"No, no, no!! What the hell are you doing here? Why are you wasting our time?"

"What do you mean?? Did I give you the right to turn my life into a reality show? Who asked you to sit there and judge me!! "

Friday, August 15, 2008

Freedom Is...

What does freedom mean to me? Nothing special really. I think I take freedom for granted, that I should be able to say what I want, do what I want! I was thinking about the extremes we have with respect to the fundamental rights of our constitution.

Right to equality

We have abolished things like untouchability. But if we want social equality, why are we pushing for more and more castes and reservations? If we have abolished titles why are we still using terms like Maharani, Nawab for some people? And when it comes to equality before law, power and money has put some people above the law. People have gotten away with scams, frauds and even murder.

Right to freedom

Its ok for us to have saas-bahu soaps on prime time with scandals, extra-marital affairs, illegitimate children, superstition etc etc on prime-time. But every time a high-profile movie releases, one or the other group decides to take the law in its hands and protest against a scene or a song. We sue artists for expressing their creativity. Tell me, what % of Indian population goes to art exhibitions and what % watches T.V.? And why doesn't anyone ever protest against sleazy B-grade, C-grade films?

If the Indian Constitution states that we have the freedom to reside and settle in any part of the territory of India why do we resent people from other states? Do we want to be a nation or a ghetto?

Right against exploitation

I don't know if forced labor still exists. But child labor and trafficking of human beings certainly does. It's not the evil landlords who always employ children, the so-called elite and educated class also doesn't think twice about employing children as long as its cheap labor.

Right to freedom of religion

We give people right to choose their religion. But when everybody starts exercising it, we disrupt the mass conversions and threaten those who have converted.

I think my post is getting too long so I will just skip the rest. If you are still awake after reading this far, you can check this out:

If you think about it, our constitution has probably taken care of everything. Even if these seven fundamental rights are observed properly, it would solve half our problems. We need to send all the politicians for a crash course in democracy and constitution first!! Democracy is a tricky thing isn't it. The way I interpret these rights may be totally different from how you do. What may be an aimless protest to me, it may be freedom of expression for you! And that's what is best about democracy. That both of us can voice these different opinions and live in the same country!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

I Dream Of...

They say dreams are the windows of the soul--take a peek and you can see the inner workings, the nuts and bolts.
Henry Bromel

If that is true, no one can analyze my soul based on my dreams. I wish my dreams were stored on my brain's hard-disk rather than on RAM. The minute I wake up, I forget what I was dreaming about. One of the hazards of being a sound sleeper, I guess. I can probably sleep through an earthquake. I have been told by my roomies that I talk in my sleep. My mom told me that she has heard me swearing and shouting a couple of times when I am asleep. Which is weird, coz my swearing phase ended with school; and now I cuss only when I am hopping mad and that too only in the company of some kindred spirits.

Then why in my dreams? Probably the result of bottling up things in my head. Keeping mum about the things you don't like may be good in the short run. You can avoid confrontations, misunderstandings with your friends/family this way. You can be a master at poker-face. But when the subconscious mind takes over, the mask crumbles. The things that you don't say, the feelings that you don't express, ultimately find a way of coming out. It may be in the form of sarcasm, a snide remark now and then, loss of sleep/appetite, grouchiness.

There is only dream that I remember. And that too because it is a recurring one. In the dream I am floating on air. Not flying in the sky, mind you. And not doing any fantastic stuff or soaring like an eagle through distant lands. I see myself going through my normal daily routine but my body is levitated. What can it mean? A) I am possessed by an evil spirit. B) I am going to invent a shoe which allows people to levitate.

Those who know me will tell you that probability of A being true is greater.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo

I was so confused when I met you. I did not know what I wanted. I took the easy way out and stuck to you. You have been with me when I was sad and wanted to talk to someone. You were a guiding light when I was engulfed in darkness. I was so scared when I thought I had lost you. Everyone told me that I was better off with someone else. Still I did not let you go.

My Nokia 1100. 3 years old, a little worse for wear, buttons all faded out, battery that needs to be charged everyday; still I just can't seem to throw it away. My cell seems so lost and little in the midst of Cybershots, N series. But it's ok. I am more of a watch person anyways. Come to think of it, my watch is costlier than my cell!

What do people do with a 5.0 Mega pixel camera cell phone? Photograph themselves in the weirdest of poses; poses which they would not have dared to do if there was another person standing in front of them holding the camera. Never ever view anyone's cell phone pictures. You never know what you might see and be scarred for life!!!I think I will pass! Video recording? I am not planning to shoot MMS ahem. So, I think I will pass again! GPS - does it work in India? What with all the millions of by lanes with no names and roads and landmarks with the same name? Have you counted how many Mahatma Gandhi, Ambedkar and LBS roads we have? Pass! Emails on the go, office applications; no way, forget about office work after 6. I have seen people checking their Blackberry at 4 or 5 in the morning. And I have no intention of going down that way. Pass again! Radio is a must though. Especially since we are not allowed to store songs on our pc in office. I don't think I will be able to survive the whole day staring at my computer screen if I was not plugged to my mp3 player. And some good games; somebody talking nonsense on the phone, waiting for someone, waiting in the doctor's office ; play snake or tetris.

I get so confused when I check out the new models. And after a long search when I finally pick one and read its reviews it turns out to have so many problems. Whatever happened to keeping it simple? I think I will probably end up buying 1100 again or maybe upgrade it to 1101.

And so the search continues!!

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