And Finally He Popped The Question...

Who did: Archie
To Whom: Veronica (At least that's what this cover Archie_Weds_Veronica? seems to indicate)

If you don't know who I am talking about, then obviously you have not read any of the Archie comics. I started reading Archie comics after I outgrew Tinkle, Chacha Chaudhary, Chandamama. I have rummaged through numerous raddiwala stalls in search of second-hand comics coz they were really expensive compared to the Indian ones; borrowed the comics from my younger cousin who's also bitten by the reading bug; and even sat in Crossword for hours reading the comics.

The buzz doing the rounds is that Archie is finally going to choose between Betty and Veronica. And rumors are that he is going to choose Veronica over Betty. Not surprisingly a lot of the readers are aghast over Archie's decision to choose the spoilt rich female instead of the goody-goody one. Geez, it's just a comic. Why trash our favourite comic book characters calling Archie a jerk, Veronica a snotty brat and Betty a doormat!

Which brings me to the question I had in my mind: Do nice girls finish last? I always thought that the opposite was true. I mean when it comes to dating, guys seem to like the wild chick, the wilder the better. But when it comes to settling down, it's mummy's choice. And in most cases, it's dead certain that mummy is not going to pick the girl who speaks her mind, who doesn't fit into the mould of the beautiful, obedient, docile wife/daughter-in-law. It's true of even females; we may fall for the tousle-haired, dreamy-eyed, guitar-wielding, poetry-spewing guy in our teens. But when we realize that he's not husband-material, we drop him in favor of the suited-booted guy with a steady 9-6 job. Is there any truth to the keep-your-guy-at-the-edge advice that mags like Cosmo seem to offer?Well, it certainly worked in Veronica's case, didn't it!

P.S. I think the cover is just a trick. The Archie-Betty-Veronica saga will probably end up in a filmy manner with Archie realizing his love for Betty at the last minute.

Answer Me This...

Why did Superman, Batman wear their briefs on the outside of their tights?
Do vampires get AIDS?
If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?

Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

These are just few of life's unanswered questions. They may leave you searching for an answer, but you can get away with any kind of reply.And they are better than some of these questions:


Do you know who I am?
I have a very bad memory for faces. I would remember a Brad Pitt or a Hrithik Roshan, but normal people look...well normal. It's quite embarrassing when some of my relatives ask me this question. And when I sheepishly say that I don't remember them, they start by describing our entire family tree which makes me even more flustered.

How would you describe yourself?
This is quite a tricky interview question. If I spoke the truth, the interviewer would think that I am seriously deranged. So, I have to stick to standard responses. And although I know that this question will inevitably be asked in all the interviews, I hate to prepare for it. I belong to the breed of people who would rather not talk about themselves. I can write an essay on myself and my life because at least the reader has the option of not reading it. But I would rather not bore people by my self-obsessed ravings.

When are you getting married?
When you reach a certain age (The age limit varies, if you are in a small town the countdown starts at 18. If you live in a cosmopolitan city and the people around you are open-minded then the age would be probably late twenties.) and are still single, you get this question from a lot of people. Good friends, concerned relatives, nosy neighbours; everybody wants to know the answer. I can only say that if I knew when I was getting married, I would have already changed my status on Orkut and sent them my wedding card. The next time someone asks me this, I will tell them that I am thinking of becoming a lesbian and since same-gender marriage is not allowed in India, I am never going to get married.

When are you going onsite?
If you are in IT, and still in India after 2-3 years of job experience, people automatically start assuming something is wrong with you. Its the equivalent of a guy being in his mid to late twenties and never been involved with any female, then people start assuming that he is gay. The money is definitely good at onsite, and I should have been the first one to queue up for visa coz I am such a big miser (You know the joke about the guy with the Rolex who had his arm cut off and was worrying about his Rolex, I am that kind). But I know that I would end up getting depressed if I have to live alone; and if I am not happy what good is money going to be?

I Dream Of...

They say dreams are the windows of the soul--take a peek and you can see the inner workings, the nuts and bolts.
Henry Bromel

If that is true, no one can analyze my soul based on my dreams. I wish my dreams were stored on my brain's hard-disk rather than on RAM. The minute I wake up, I forget what I was dreaming about. One of the hazards of being a sound sleeper, I guess. I can probably sleep through an earthquake. I have been told by my roomies that I talk in my sleep. My mom told me that she has heard me swearing and shouting a couple of times when I am asleep. Which is weird, coz my swearing phase ended with school; and now I cuss only when I am hopping mad and that too only in the company of some kindred spirits.

Then why in my dreams? Probably the result of bottling up things in my head. Keeping mum about the things you don't like may be good in the short run. You can avoid confrontations, misunderstandings with your friends/family this way. You can be a master at poker-face. But when the subconscious mind takes over, the mask crumbles. The things that you don't say, the feelings that you don't express, ultimately find a way of coming out. It may be in the form of sarcasm, a snide remark now and then, loss of sleep/appetite, grouchiness.

There is only dream that I remember. And that too because it is a recurring one. In the dream I am floating on air. Not flying in the sky, mind you. And not doing any fantastic stuff or soaring like an eagle through distant lands. I see myself going through my normal daily routine but my body is levitated. What can it mean? A) I am possessed by an evil spirit. B) I am going to invent a shoe which allows people to levitate.

Those who know me will tell you that probability of A being true is greater.

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo

I was so confused when I met you. I did not know what I wanted. I took the easy way out and stuck to you. You have been with me when I was sad and wanted to talk to someone. You were a guiding light when I was engulfed in darkness. I was so scared when I thought I had lost you. Everyone told me that I was better off with someone else. Still I did not let you go.

My Nokia 1100. 3 years old, a little worse for wear, buttons all faded out, battery that needs to be charged everyday; still I just can't seem to throw it away. My cell seems so lost and little in the midst of Cybershots, N series. But it's ok. I am more of a watch person anyways. Come to think of it, my watch is costlier than my cell!

What do people do with a 5.0 Mega pixel camera cell phone? Photograph themselves in the weirdest of poses; poses which they would not have dared to do if there was another person standing in front of them holding the camera. Never ever view anyone's cell phone pictures. You never know what you might see and be scarred for life!!!I think I will pass! Video recording? I am not planning to shoot MMS ahem. So, I think I will pass again! GPS - does it work in India? What with all the millions of by lanes with no names and roads and landmarks with the same name? Have you counted how many Mahatma Gandhi, Ambedkar and LBS roads we have? Pass! Emails on the go, office applications; no way, forget about office work after 6. I have seen people checking their Blackberry at 4 or 5 in the morning. And I have no intention of going down that way. Pass again! Radio is a must though. Especially since we are not allowed to store songs on our pc in office. I don't think I will be able to survive the whole day staring at my computer screen if I was not plugged to my mp3 player. And some good games; somebody talking nonsense on the phone, waiting for someone, waiting in the doctor's office ; play snake or tetris.

I get so confused when I check out the new models. And after a long search when I finally pick one and read its reviews it turns out to have so many problems. Whatever happened to keeping it simple? I think I will probably end up buying 1100 again or maybe upgrade it to 1101.

And so the search continues!!

What's In A Name?

What's in a name? That which we call a rose,

By any other name would smell as sweet;

All my life I have been correcting people when they misspell/mispronounce my name be it strangers, friends, teachers, colleagues, managers, clients. I don't understand why people have to add an extra a, e or b to my name. I think I must have heard all the possible permutations and combinations of it after adding these extra characters. Should I be annoyed or concerned that they are probably dyslexic? I think I should start writing the phonetic spelling in brackets along with my name. Though I am sure not many people would be able to understand that anyway.

I don't know if it's childish to have strong feelings about one's name. I may get tired writing my full name on forms or any other document (although it may not be as long as some south-Indian names are, still 19 characters isn't short). But I can't imagine myself with any other name than my own. How can I be anything else other than SK?

I wonder whether it's the first or the last name that gives us our identity. For a famous celebrity probably one's first name is enough. Take the case of Madonna, Cher, Shakira, Sting, Eminem, Bono, and Pele.I couldn't think of any Indian! For us, I guess, being a Gandhi, Kapoor, Bachchan or a Khan carries a lot of weight. But for the common man, it's the last name which identifies them; which connects them to the rest or segregates them.

The idea of changing even my last name after marriage does not sound good. Wonder what made Romeo offer to drop his last name for sake of love. I should probably check with Juliet how she managed to convince him. And if you have no idea what I am talking go read Romeo and Juliet.

P.S : Was just going through my previous posts, and noticed there are soooooooo many I's in there!!!! Think the name of my blog needs to be changed to Me,Myself and SK!!Dunno how a blog is supposed to be. But don't think I would be able to write about anything unless I am able to relate to it somehow. There I go,some more I's!!

Rain Rain Go Away...

And come back when I am at home or in office.

As a kid, monsoon was soo much fun. You had a legitimate excuse to bunk school/college if it was raining too heavily. I remember going up to our terrace and getting completely soaked. Even cycling from school to our home was fun (albeit a bit tiring). And even though I had my raincoat, I almost never wore it. One reason for this maybe because the full length raincoats make you look so dorky. The closest I have come to wearing an evening gown was the raincoat. Waddling in the muddy water is certainly not my idea of ramp-walk. Can there be anyone who has not made paper boats and floated them in the puddles. Childhood is such a great excuse to do all the things that adults consider stupid and immaturish. Even floods didn't dampen anyone's spirits; except for the poor ones who were affected by it.For the rest of us, it meant staying at home, enjoying with friends and family. And venturing out towards the river to see it in full spate.

Now I prefer to watch rains from our balcony. There's something about rains that brings on a feeling of nostalgia. It's an excellent atmosphere for day-dreaming. You know how they say that one should always save for a rainy day. I know it is in context with money, but I am saving my leaves.So that I can safely skip office if I am feeling too lazy to venture out. One thing that I am missing sorely this time is the smell of wet earth. Instead whenever I come out of my home, my nostrils are greeted with a slight stench. And some pesky kids waiting in line to splash the dirty,muddy water on the next hapless rider who comes their way. I dread putting my foot down in the puddle so much that I feel like I am in a "Slow Bike" contest. I don't feel like writing about long drives in the rain, corn on the cob etc etc. Once the monsoon season starts, you can find these articles in all the newspapers anyway.

It is said that in future most wars will be fought over water. I can already see a sort of mini-war raging on between humans and nature. The tsunami in 2004, China's quake lake make Mother Nature seem so scary. Some Indian states are engaged in disputes over water; Cauvery issue being one of them. A fight is on between the general public against the administration. We all like blaming the administration when things go wrong, but no one gives it a second thought before building illegal constructions which block the flow of water or dumping garbage till the drains choke up. But hey, that's not our problem is it? By the time things take a turn for the worse, we will be too old or probably dead. So why bother? Let the future generations worry about saving the earth.

The Joys Of Pessimism

Joy and Pessimism?? Aren't these two supposed to be mutually exclusive?

I have been a life-long pessimist. If I accomplish something, I always feel that it's not enough. That I could have done better. And God forbid if I make any mistake, I am the first to run myself down (Question:Is this pessimism or trying to be perfect all the time? Not sure).

There is some term in psychology called 'Defensive Pessimism'.Actually, I had no idea about it. But when I read what it means, I felt like that's what I do all the time. After every exam/interview, my mom used to ask me how it went. Every time I used to say ok-ok types. Coz I myself have never felt overly confident about my abilities. I always think that whatever I know, it's very basic. Every person must know at least this much. My poor ma spent all my school and college years thinking that I would surely fail in the exams. So whenever the results were out, and I managed to do well, she used to be so happy. Even I would be happy coz I always had this feeling that I would fail. Which is exaggerating things a bit too far, coz I was never a bad student. It’s hard to be pessimistic when you know you are good.

Being pessimistic has some advantages too. Since I have several hundred scenarios of what could go wrong, it makes me extra cautious. And I try to think of solutions to the problems. Any good thing that happens to me is so surprisingly wonderful. The feeling of happiness is heightened since it was completely unexpected. And if anything bad happens, it feels anticlimactic.

But I would gladly change this thing about myself. It's no fun thinking constantly about the worst thing that could happen to me. I don't like acting like the Angel of Death and Doom. And sometimes when bad things are not happening as fast I like, I deliberately set out to wreck things. I know it's very dumb of me, but the relief that I feel after the worst comes true is kind of therapeutic. I am trying to reach some sort of middle ground. But I don’t know whether I will live to see that day...... [Ahhh, spoken like a true pessimist :-)]