Mirror, Mirror On The Wall...

I have looked in the mirror many a times; and looking at my reflection counted all my flaws, but strangely the scar on my nose has never been one of them. Does the mirror show us only those things that we want to see? This article in today's paper set me thinking. The so-called victim looked fine to begin with, but the desire for more led to the situation that she's in currently.

"Beauty is only skin deep"
"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder"

Say what you may, but the truth is a person's appearance is the first thing which gets judged at. The judging happens more in the case of women; who are constantly being judged by men and other women. And ample proof of it can be found in the "Wanted Brides" ads in newspapers/matrimonial sites, or in the ads for fairness creams. Probably the reason why women rate looks as the secondary criteria for men is because every woman knows that she is anyways going to change a lot of things in the guy that she chooses to be with.

To quote Uncle Ben, "With great power comes great responsibility"; but with even a moderate amount of beauty comes a whole bunch of expectations. Expectations to be funny, witty, charming, nice, intelligent (I have my doubts about this one). Ever been on a date with a good-looking person, which you built up so much in your head and which ended up flat and boring, because the date didn't match your expectations? If you have, then you'll know what I am talking about.

Whatever it is, I doubt there would be anyone who would be willing to trade in their looks. So, the ads are not going to change, the countless beauty products are not going to vanish from the aisles in supermarkets. We'll just have to learn not to take beauty so seriously, to walk past the beauty products with our hands firmly on the trolley or inside our pockets, to glimpse at the reflection in the mirror and try to see past our own expectations. Or if you have the moolah, you can get everything fixed from a big nose to a crooked smile, from a no-show bum to a sagging tummy.

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Lend Me A Prayer...

Wish I could say that this post ends with me having a change of heart and embarking on the path of godliness. But years of disbelief/skepticism in any kind of religious practice don't go away in just an instant. I always say that I believe in God but not in religion. Maybe, because when religion comes into the picture, people tend to forget God, and then religion becomes of prime importance.

A few days back, I visited Haji Ali and Mount Mary Church. This was a very unusual trip for me, because I cannot recall the last time I had set foot in any religious place. As far as I can remember, I have never been to any mosque; I have probably visited more temples/churches. So, I set forth with an open mind, not knowing what to expect.

The first thing that struck on my way to the Haji Ali Dargah was the crowd. As I walked past the hawkers selling brocade sheets to lay upon the tomb, I passed old, young, infants, beggars and even a goat or two. The mosque stands about 500 yards into the waters of the Arabian Sea and the walk leading up to the mosque was simply splendid. Inside the mosque was a different story altogether, jostling my way through a crowd of devotees, trying not to crush a poor infant cradled in his mother's arms and worrying about my wallet/cellphone getting stolen, did in no way make me feel closer to God. Moreover, women were not allowed to touch the tomb, and I didn't feel that having the caretaker swing his peacock feathered broom over me would bring out any devotion in me. In the end, I came out after going halfway into the shrine.

In contrast, the visit to Mount Mary Church fared a little better. It was a lot more peaceful. If I had known how to pray, I would have certainly done so. But I couldn't decide which of my problems needed divine intervention and which needed my own intervention! All I asked for was to let me be strong enough to deal with whatever life throws me my way; be it happiness or sorrow.

As I left the church, I could understand a little bit as to why anyone would want to blindly believe in God, or why anyone would want to stick to prayers/religion as a means to feel closer to God. And as I said at the beginning of this post, this trip didn't bring about any enlightenment in me, but neither did it do any harm. So if any heavenly light were to shine upon me, or if I were to have a paranormal experience, I promise not to be skeptical and to keep an open mind.

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Five Lesser Known Things About Me...

I have been tagged by Amrit to write about five lesser known things about me. For a while I wondered whether I should disclose my neurosis to the world, but then I figured very few of my friends read my blog, my family is unaware that I write, so it doesn't matter.

1. I have a slight, very very very slight strain of OCD. It's not like "I have to wash my hands 10 times a day or I'll die" kinds. But sometimes I keep on checking and double-checking and triple checking things that I have already done; like checking if I have closed the door, paid the bills, check the code/docs that I have prepared in office for errors, wondering about the above things while I am driving to home/office. I have never told this to anyone and even made fun of a friend who thinks she has OCD, mainly because I have a feeling that it started because I read up on OCD. And secondly because I know in my case it's not that much of a problem.

2. I show my mean side only to the people who are closest to me. Very few people know about this, because there are only few people that I am close to. I don't think it stems from wanting people to like me, coz I never really wanted to be Ms. Popular. But that has become second nature to me now, I am polite to strangers/colleagues/casual friends; polite and impersonal, not letting anyone get too close to me.

3. I used to think I was a cleanoholic. I liked things spic and span and in their proper places. I didn't even like untidy people with shaggy hair, baggy clothes. But when I had to do the cleaning myself, I let go. It's just too much hard work! Now, I have compromised by keeping one side of my bed cluttered and the other side all neat and proper; by clearing up the clutter from my desktop and mailboxes. I go on cleaning sprees every weekend and organize everything and forget about it for the next couple of days.

4. I hate asking people for help or telling anyone my problems. There were times when my 2-wheeler broke down/ran out of petrol, but I would drag it alone, not asking for help and giving dirty looks to those few who did stop to offer help. I don't think I can pull off the damsel in distress look. I have listened to the problems of many of my friends (sometimes sympathetically, sometimes faking it), but I rarely talk about my problems with others.

5. I like to watch little kids walking, as they hold someone else's hand and their little feet try to keep up. It always brings a smile to my face. I don't go "Oh how cute" and rush to hold kids. I prefer to watch them from afar and smile at their antics.

I am not going to tag anyone, but if you are reading this post and feel like doing this tag, do let me know. And when you are commenting on this write, do write at least one lesser known thing about yourself.

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On A Writing Spree...

I have been bitten by the writing bug and churned out a couple of short stories. Now the thing with writing fiction is that I am never happy with my short stories. Maybe I have read too many short stories of O. Henry . Even while reading the short stories on other blogs, I am always thinking about what the twist would be. Oh well, I guess I haven't found my way around the pen(or keyboard) yet. Until then, I will have to bide my time.

A Time To Remember...

He: Happy Birthday!

She: You remembered? I thought now you won't remember my birthday.

He: Why wouldn't I? Just because I am gone, it doesn't mean that I have broken all ties with my family. I never did say sorry to you for going away. I know I promised never to leave, but I broke that promise.

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Forgiveness Is Divine...

Raj: "I am sorry. Please forgive me. It was a big mistake, and it will never happen again."

Sia: "I can never trust you again. I may forgive you, but I don't know if I can ever forget what you did!"

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Killing Me Softly...

He: "I am so sorry honey. I promise that was the last time. I will not touch a drop of liquor. And never ever will I harm you again!"

She: "It's just a small bruise. But I am so happy about your promise. I know things will get better once you quit drinking."

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Beating The Blues...

Since I have been struck by a very severe bout of Blues for quite some time, I thought why not turn it into a post. (A question to fellow bloggers: Is it just me or do you look for material in everything since you started blogging?)

Fortunately/Unfortunately the weather is just adding to my current mood. It's dull and cloudy and starts raining just when I am about to leave for office. The budget promises no miracles (at least for me). There may be no increments this year. Rakhi Sawant is back on T.V. as a coy, blushing bride-to-be (I am absolutely ashamed to admit that I watched 1-2 episodes of the show, but I have sworn not watch any more!). Ok, so I admit that the above reasons have got nothing to do with my mood. But they will have to do for this post.

I don't know about everyone but I follow a pattern when I am down in the dumps. And I also have a dos/don'ts list to last me through these troubled times.

• Throw out the sad songs of Kishore Kumar

All you Kishore Kumar fans, before you get ready to lynch me, hear me out. I have never understood the logic of listening to sad songs when you are already in a sad mood. If nothing, these songs just make me cry. So, I scroll through my play-list in search of all the item numbers and disco songs. One of my favourites is this one: "Mummy ko nahi hai pata" A friend and I used to play this song when we had to work on Saturday or when we were in a grouchy mood, and laugh at the ridiculous lyrics of this song.

• Stay away from tear-jerkers

Same logic as with the above point. Sci-fi/horror/comedy, anything will work. So I ended up watching The Dark Knight (Is it too late to marvel at the Joker's performance?), Shawshank Redemption (Almost everyone I know keeps on going on and on about this movie), The Others (Only the twist was good, the whole movie was a bore), Chandni Chowk To China (But only for 5 minutes,Akki's movies are becoming more and more senseless)

• Stock up on Moov/Iodex

They really come in handy after every inch of my body starts aching because of too much exercise. I love walking and used to go for a walk whenever I had too much on my mind. But ever since moving to Mumbai, walks are restricted to the treadmill. So, I am always saying to myself "2 more minutes","5 more crunches","2 more laps" till I am about to pass out.

• Shake a leg

Well dancing does help. But for me shaking a leg is more of restless fidgeting. Even on normal days, I tend to fidget a lot, but on the days I am bluesy, it becomes more pronounced. So, I will never need to buy the
morning walker!!! That's good, isn't it?

• Go on a binge

Which can be smoking/drinking/eating. The first two options don't count in my case. And as far as eating is concerned, I tend to go the opposite way. If only I had a tendency to binge, I would have crossed the 50kg mark long back. But unfortunately/fortunately, I had to eat my way through for so many years to cross that mark.

P.S. The list is not complete. That's deliberate coz I wanna hear from you what you do when you are down. Oh and please write about doable stuff.Don't write about stuff like; Go on a trip to Himalayas, or something like
that.

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