Wanted

JOB TITLE: God

SUMMARY

Responsible for all activities on Earth. Provide advice, assistance and follow-up on policies, procedures. Coordinate the resolution of specific policy-related and procedural problems and prayers.

PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITIES

• Responsible for all human/non-human resource activities to include birth, happiness, suffering, death of all species.

• Develop and maintain relationship with all incarnations and forms of self.

• Prepare and maintain historical data of activities performed by all species on earth.
  

• Analyze data and provide recommendations on allowing access to heaven or condemn to hell.

• Other duties as assigned.

KNOWLEDGE AND SKILL REQUIREMENTS

• Behavioral Attributes: omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, perfect goodness, divine simplicity, and eternal and necessary existence

• Strong interpersonal and communication skills.

• Knowledge of multiple human/non-human resource disciplines.

• Visibility requires maintaining a professional, calm and soothing appearance and providing a positive image to the public.

WORKING CONDITIONS

• Working conditions are extreme. Work may require evening and weekend work from the date of joining to eternity.

P.S: What made God accept this job??

Forgive me God, if this post is blasphemous. I hope that You have a sense of humor. Or at least are forgiving enough to ignore my extremely bad sense of humor.