Dumb And Dumber

"How did you fit ice into a bottle?"
Moi

"There is no impact to existing code/process."
The Idiot in the next cubicle

"I am sorry... 2 years." And she believed it!

Someone goes to jail,someone does not go to jail, something happens, something doesn't happen, we vandalize buses, train coaches, shops etc. As it is, there are so many problems with infrastructure in our country. And we have a mob that is ever-ready to destroy public property. Do they not realize that tomorrow when the rioting stops, they will not have enough buses/trains to travel in?

Wanted

JOB TITLE: God

SUMMARY

Responsible for all activities on Earth. Provide advice, assistance and follow-up on policies, procedures. Coordinate the resolution of specific policy-related and procedural problems and prayers.

PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITIES

• Responsible for all human/non-human resource activities to include birth, happiness, suffering, death of all species.

• Develop and maintain relationship with all incarnations and forms of self.

• Prepare and maintain historical data of activities performed by all species on earth.
  

• Analyze data and provide recommendations on allowing access to heaven or condemn to hell.

• Other duties as assigned.

KNOWLEDGE AND SKILL REQUIREMENTS

• Behavioral Attributes: omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, perfect goodness, divine simplicity, and eternal and necessary existence

• Strong interpersonal and communication skills.

• Knowledge of multiple human/non-human resource disciplines.

• Visibility requires maintaining a professional, calm and soothing appearance and providing a positive image to the public.

WORKING CONDITIONS

• Working conditions are extreme. Work may require evening and weekend work from the date of joining to eternity.

P.S: What made God accept this job??

Forgive me God, if this post is blasphemous. I hope that You have a sense of humor. Or at least are forgiving enough to ignore my extremely bad sense of humor.

Once I Had A Secret Love...

And my secret love's no secret anymore

But it's OK, I guess. Since I never told him nor will it matter to him if I disclose his identity over here. I saw him first when I was in pre-teens and fell in love (infatuated would be the right word) with him. He was handsome, brave, strong, funny, a thief...and also a cartoon character; Aladdin. Though, till date, I am not sure whom I liked more; Genie or Aladdin? Ahh, if only Genie wasn't blue, which woman wouldn't love a man who fulfilled all her wishes!!

Having been at the receiving end of a respectable amount of crushes, first-love, infatuation (I can't be more clinical than this!), I have been surprised, delighted, shocked, irritated, sad. It's amazing how many emotions that one word can evoke! Now, if I was a giddy teenage girl, I would talk of red roses, chocolates, long hours on the phone, daydreaming. Of waiting for something to happen on Valentine's day, of not losing hope even while cycling back to home after school, and of disappointment that it ended like just another ordinary day. Of living in the moment and not knowing/caring what the future holds. Of secret crushes and mushy songs/movies.

I may not be a teen anymore, but I still like/expect some of the things which I have written in the previous para (It's not required to list that here! This is not a "10 Tips To Woo Me" kind of post !). But, I can't talk of "What is Love" and write down cutesy stuff. (Though I just love to read the "Love is" cartoons! If you like them too, then check this out: http://www.loveisfan.com). Wise in the ways of the world and perhaps a little disillusioned becoz of it; I can say that along with all the mushy,sweet feelings sometimes love's more about patience. Sometimes it's keeping nasty thoughts to yourself, of letting go, of a seemingly endless waiting period, of changes in oneself (for better or for worse) Sometimes it's not knowing whether it's love or being habituated to a person. Sometimes it's not about being overdramatic and thinking that you couldn't possibly live without that person; it's knowing that your life would go on as before even if you ended up alone, but you simply choose not to let go of him/her.

P.S: Note to self: Watching chick-flick and extreeeeeeemmely sentimental movies over the weekend makes one prone to write senti and nonsensical posts!