Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Answer Me This...

Why did Superman, Batman wear their briefs on the outside of their tights?
Do vampires get AIDS?
If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

These are just few of life's unanswered questions. They may leave you searching for an answer, but you can get away with any kind of reply.And they are better than some of these questions:


Do you know who I am?
I have a very bad memory for faces. I would remember a Brad Pitt or a Hrithik Roshan, but normal people look...well normal. It's quite embarrassing when some of my relatives ask me this question. And when I sheepishly say that I don't remember them, they start by describing our entire family tree which makes me even more flustered.

How would you describe yourself?
This is quite a tricky interview question. If I spoke the truth, the interviewer would think that I am seriously deranged. So, I have to stick to standard responses. And although I know that this question will inevitably be asked in all the interviews, I hate to prepare for it. I belong to the breed of people who would rather not talk about themselves. I can write an essay on myself and my life because at least the reader has the option of not reading it. But I would rather not bore people by my self-obsessed ravings.

When are you getting married?
When you reach a certain age (The age limit varies, if you are in a small town the countdown starts at 18. If you live in a cosmopolitan city and the people around you are open-minded then the age would be probably late twenties.) and are still single, you get this question from a lot of people. Good friends, concerned relatives, nosy neighbours; everybody wants to know the answer. I can only say that if I knew when I was getting married, I would have already changed my status on Orkut and sent them my wedding card. The next time someone asks me this, I will tell them that I am thinking of becoming a lesbian and since same-gender marriage is not allowed in India, I am never going to get married.

When are you going onsite?
If you are in IT, and still in India after 2-3 years of job experience, people automatically start assuming something is wrong with you. Its the equivalent of a guy being in his mid to late twenties and never been involved with any female, then people start assuming that he is gay. The money is definitely good at onsite, and I should have been the first one to queue up for visa coz I am such a big miser (You know the joke about the guy with the Rolex who had his arm cut off and was worrying about his Rolex, I am that kind). But I know that I would end up getting depressed if I have to live alone; and if I am not happy what good is money going to be?

13 comments:

ConfusedIAm said...

Hey I like the part about you answering people when they ask you..

When are you getting married?

Rambler said...

@ConfusedIAm
I haven't tried that yet :-)

edundayo said...

Hmm! It's really interesting when you think of all these things and then you wonder why can't everybody just understand, but they are not you. So, they hardly would reason like you.

I'm getting the marriage part like crazy now, but I'm just not bother in anyway, rather I just appreciate the fact that I've got people who care about me enough to be bothered. Sometimes some do that to mock but I just look at it the same way.

Million of people are out there hoping and wishing that some will just show up to bug they to hell with these questions and even more but nah! They ain't got nobody, I mean no single soul to give a damn about them.

Now! don't you think some of us...........hahahahah! Don't mind me.

Life is confusing and interesting at same time.

maverick said...

i think the point regarding onsite is spot on ,i ll complete 3 yrs soon,all sort of ppl ask "yaar tu abhe tak onsite nahe gya" esp those who have many pics on orkut of airports and malls of usa and uk:),though my reasons are different and i can survive in antartica if my laptop is there with internet acess

Keep Guessing said...

well..u had some doubts..i'll answer urs..n u answer mine in return...

Regarding why superheroes wear undies over their pants...Why do people wear their their pants down to their knees so you can see their underwear? I think its advertising ;-)

and A vampire could get aids but it wouldn't affect them because they are immortal. :)

Now my doubts are...
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?

Why don't you ever see baby crows or pigeons?

Why do they call them "brassiere" as singluar and Panties as plural?

If Superglue is so good why doesn't it stick to the inside of the tube?

Why do people call it an ATM machine, don't they know they're really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?


Hop over n lemme know when you find the answer to them...

Rambler said...

@maverick
Ha ha, I am guilty of taking a lot of pictures when I was at onsite too.
Though not at the airport or malls. Antarctica huh, am sure some eskimo would require the services of a software engineer. Try asking your project manager for an deputation there :-)

@Keep Guessing
Interesting answers

I don't think its advertising when superheroes show their underwear. What brand are they promoting? Usually, one can see Jockey, Calvin Klein peeping out.

They should add this to the list of causes for AIDS that drinking other people's blood can also cause AIDS. Or does it come under blood transfusion?

As far as your questions are concerned,
Why don't you ever see baby crows or pigeons?
You will see them if you climb up to their nests

Why do they call them "brassiere" as singluar and Panties as plural?
Let me try to answer this without sounding vulgar.For the first,its something like Two bodies,one Soul and vice-versa for the second :-)

sawan said...

interesting..

Tazeen said...

I can only answer the first q.

The super heroes wear their under pants outside because they were all motherless creatures and were told to put on pants only after they have worn their trousers. As they were lazy asses, they just wore the under pants over their trousers/tights/whatever.

Rambler said...

@sawan
Thanks

@tazeen
Or probably, their girlfriend wasn't around when they put their underpants outside. I am sure no sensible female would allow her guy to go out like that!!!

Anshul said...

My answer to all foolish questions has always remained the same i.e. 'Dog knows what God knows...'

Rambler said...

@anshul
Hmmm, well us mere mortals are able to talk neither with dogs nor with God , so that saying doesn't help much :-)

Koyeli said...

Hmm, I have been bugged with these questions a couple of times. And quite recently by the onsite question. I agree with your views on onsite postings. For some people, money is a lure not good enough for an onsite assignment. But as luck would have it, I had been onsite a couple of times, inspite of my unwillingness, which some of my friends fail to comprehend. But when you are in a new place, it gives a new outlook, a different way of looking at the same things and needless to say, new memories ( some good and some not so good ). But as u wrote in one of your articles, unless u let go old memories, you cannot bring in new ones. So if you get a chance someday for a brief onsite visit like one month or so ( may not be possible now due to recession ) , take your chances. Of course, I dont belong to the category of people who like to advice others, but just wanted to share my thoughts with you.

Rambler said...

@Koyeli
Onsite...Damned if you, damned if you don't kind of situation. Though, now I feel I should just think of it as a chance to grow and enjoy new experiences...

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