A Cobweb Of Memories...

What's an acceptable timeframe for letting go of an old memory? A day for a one-night tryst? A weekend for a bad week at work? Two years for a broken heart? Five years for all the battles of college? A decade for teenage crushes and whippings at school?

I have always found it weird when people start reminiscing about the good old days. When the stories of the days of yore begin, my mind starts wandering away. Now, don't get me wrong. I am not a cruel, heartless wretch with ice-water running through my veins. But all my memories are locked up in my head for me to go back and agonize or revel over when I am day-dreaming. (A technical question here: Is it really day-dreaming if you are thinking about stuff from the past? Or are day-dreams meant only for the future?)

Is it just a male thing to trade battle stories over and over again? The stories of teenage crush, the college fights, the office hottie from their previous company? This is really strange, coz women are generally perceived to be the ones who have elephantine memories and can remember minute details like the color of their guy's shirt on their first date! I am trying to recall when I have sat with my female friends and spent the whole day laughing over school/college/office adventures. Ok so all my office buddies were male so that crosses itself out. My college days were pretty non-happening and tame. And it seems really childish to go back to the memories from school years; everything seems so ancient that even the memories are in technicolor!

Eeeks, so where does that leave me? Most probably, sitting on a couch, surrounded by other people's memories! Oh well, serves me right for not holding on to any of my own, I guess...

Some Things Just Never Change...

A few days back I was attending a session on HR practices in the workplace. And the trainer was explaining to us how discreet and impartial and unbiased HR guys are when dealing with issues that the employees face. To explain that he gave us a hypothetical example of a female who had leveled a sexual harassment charge against one colleague. The issue was resolved, but in a matter of few months she raised the same charge against a different person, and then one more time against a third person. To highlight how unbiased they have to be when dealing with such cases, the trainer asked us, what would any normal person think in this scenario. The room fell silent for a minute or two and it was easy to figure out what everyone was thinking. And as one guy voiced that thought, it irritated the hell out of me! And I ended up blurting out "Or maybe there were a lot of perverts in that company who took advantage of that one woman!" Needless to say, no one else said anything more and the trainer quickly moved on to other topics!

Thankfully, I have never had to face any such serious stuff. The two or three random minor incidents that did happen, I think, every woman has faced. (Should I be referring to these kind of incidents as minor? No incident how small seems minor when its happening to you.)And has learnt to take it in her stride. It's such a shameful thing to admit to. To have to accept such things as a part of being a woman.

This is not going to be a post for women's empowerment. I was just trying to think out aloud how on top of everything else that a woman has to deal with, harassment gets added on it. Sometimes more than the harassment, it's harder having to deal with judgmental eyes of holier-than-thou people...