Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall...

I have looked in the mirror many a times; and looking at my reflection counted all my flaws, but strangely the scar on my nose has never been one of them. Does the mirror show us only those things that we want to see? This article in today's paper set me thinking. The so-called victim looked fine to begin with, but the desire for more led to the situation that she's in currently.

"Beauty is only skin deep"
"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder"

Say what you may, but the truth is a person's appearance is the first thing which gets judged at. The judging happens more in the case of women; who are constantly being judged by men and other women. And ample proof of it can be found in the "Wanted Brides" ads in newspapers/matrimonial sites, or in the ads for fairness creams. Probably the reason why women rate looks as the secondary criteria for men is because every woman knows that she is anyways going to change a lot of things in the guy that she chooses to be with.

To quote Uncle Ben, "With great power comes great responsibility"; but with even a moderate amount of beauty comes a whole bunch of expectations. Expectations to be funny, witty, charming, nice, intelligent (I have my doubts about this one). Ever been on a date with a good-looking person, which you built up so much in your head and which ended up flat and boring, because the date didn't match your expectations? If you have, then you'll know what I am talking about.

Whatever it is, I doubt there would be anyone who would be willing to trade in their looks. So, the ads are not going to change, the countless beauty products are not going to vanish from the aisles in supermarkets. We'll just have to learn not to take beauty so seriously, to walk past the beauty products with our hands firmly on the trolley or inside our pockets, to glimpse at the reflection in the mirror and try to see past our own expectations. Or if you have the moolah, you can get everything fixed from a big nose to a crooked smile, from a no-show bum to a sagging tummy.


JD said...

scars shouldn't hinder ur life at all coz u people who know u will like u with or without them.

KParthasarathi said...

In the modern world it is the packaging that matters.The more the glossy and colourful, people fall for it notwithstanding the deficient quality.So too in women or men.Looks matter.It is not for nothing it was said that if Cleopatara's nose were different, the history of world wld have changed.
A nicely written post as usual

pawan said...

Just before you hit the bottom of my BLogroll, you decided to rise again,
Rise, with a good post.

The article was shocking, funny that many people shell a lot of many on things that fade away fast, beauty is as you mentioned not skin deep. Unless and until people realize that, there won't be an end to all these ad campaigns, not to mention those racist comments, fights and even wars.

Good one!

P.S: Please do blog a bit regularly, it has been a long time!


ani_aset said...

its a sad thing..glad you wrote about it.I just wish people would stop judging people on looks and rather love them for being the person they are

Rambler said...

That's wht i am trying to say, that the scar doesn't seem such a big thing..coz I have accepted it as a part of me...

True, packaging really matters, maybe not in the long run, but at least in the initial stages.

You know, maintaining one's looks is not always for others. People do it as much for themselves as for others. But you need to know when to draw the line.

I know, its been a while since my last post. Somehow couldn't find time for it, and didn't want to post anything just for the heck of it.

I think people aren't silly enough to judge everyone by their looks all the time. Once in a while, every one of us must be guilty of that :-)

hema said...

The face reflects the mind. An ordinary looking person also looks beautiful when his/her thoughts are good. The peaceful, calm eyes adds to the beauty of the person. The smiling relaxed face makes you want to talk to a total stranger. It is all in the eyes of the beholder.

mAnIaC! said...

You should be 10/10 on at least one of the following, in the respective order:

- Having Lots of Money
- Good looking
- Expressive (Funny, singer, guitarist)

It is either this, or no one (read 'girl'; boys are innocent :P) would WANT to talk to you!

You cannot be a kind-hearted, simple, silent fat guy who looks ugly, and has no money, but still looking out for some one!

In other cases, innocent looks (includes 'unshaven') have saved me lots of times, in most cases!

P.S.: Hey, Welcome back! Where 've you been?

Anonymous said...

Glad to read something frm u after a long long time. Good that you have woken up frm ur hibernation.

But as they say, Eat to Please Yourself, Dress to Please others. We, humans, have always paid attention to what others think of us and how others would like to see us and how can we make an impression on others. Dressing up is just one side of it. Slimming Down, Bariatric Surgeries, Liposuction, Glow or Fairness Treatment are just the other sides of it.

At the end, its the monstrosity of the steps that matters. We have pre-set levels of acceptance in our society. Slimming Down is ok, (For our Health), Botox is now totally Acceptatble, Hair Weaving or Rebonding is totally IN these days, Acne and Pimple Treatment is must for ladies or guys..then why is it wrong to judge someone who wants a facelift.

Thats how this society works. We cant crib or criticize someone,saying, his/her steps are wrong. That step could be his resort to be more acceptable, welcomed into the society and gain recognition.

Sometimes, its just not about the money. Its also about the inner urge to be loved, recognized and gain acceptance.

And its just not in the Indian Society but anywhere in the world and in all Walks of Life.

Btw, methinks, Why would Shilpa herself get a Nose Job done, if she was sooo perfect?

Anonymous said...

And yes, keep more coming. We know, you are keeping very busy lately, but would love to hear more from you.

Ellen said...

Hi! Found your blog through KP's page. You write well, in the simple style I admire. Simple makes for easy reading and spares the mind of having to wrestle with big words that have better and simple substitutes anyway so why bother. Lols! And yes is the answer to one of your questions (in an older post)... when you start blogging, anything and everything becomes subject for a post. :-) Serious or trivia -- it really doesn't matter. You write for yourself.. and if what you write is appreciated - that's the bonus. A blessing most times because good friendships often rise from it. That is true treasure, second only to the writing. :-)

Keep it coming. Looking forward for more. God bless you and your family.

A New Beginning said...

I loved this post Sheba:) You know I believe one should feel beautiful from within, the world around is made to judge, and their judgement may sometimes be in our favour or sometimes against us, whats important is that we do not let anyones views affect us so much that we try to change ourselves.We are who we are, if someone doesnt agree with us, well its there problem and if someone loves us, we should feel blessed..coz we deserve it and would make the other feel equally deserving:)
You know once someone asked my aunt,is your daughter fair or very fair, she smiled a bit and said so fair that her beauty would be invisible to you...only the deserving would know her value:)
Life a tricky path,the trick is to balance one self without falling ;)
Have a great week ahead!!!!

Anonymous said...

right at @maniac,more than guys its the gals they wants money ,looks etc

never seen a grl going out a average looking guy except when in a expensive car ,may be i am always at wrong place but really personal exp says that grls are more into money ,looks external factors than guys

Rambler said...

I do believe in all the inner beauty stuff and all. But sometimes isn't it fun to be completely vain and fuss about your nose, that one-odd white hair, or the awful pimple.

Oh come on, let's not turn this into a girls vs boys war :-). Actually come to think of it, both are equally bad when it comes to looks. There will be people who will give importance to looks more than brains/attitude/etc etc.

To answer your question, have been too busy at work. And since the writing bug usually strikes me in office, because of the workload, I have not been able to write much in the past few months.

Yea, I have really gone into hibernation mode this time :-).

Exactly, what is acceptable and what's not? Botox or plastic surgery may have been frowned upon earlier, but now there is nothing wrong in wanting to look good.

Inner urge to be loved,recognized etc is fine, but what if that pushes one to extreme measures like anorexia/bulimia? It's hard to reign in oneself when you begin to lose control.

Well thanks for urging me to write. Hopefully once things sort out and I am settled, I will be able to write more.

Hey Ellen, thanks for dropping by and your nice comments.
Well guess every blogger is just waiting for inspiration to strike :-).
You know that's the best way to write, to write for oneself. I started out that way when I thought I wanted to write only for myself. Even now I still do write for mostly, but it feels nice to have people drop by and comment.

@A New Beginning
Hey thanks for dropping by :-)
I liked the way your aunt answered :-). Well but what to do, outward appearance is the first thing anyone notices. You can't change that, but maybe what you can do is not to judge anyone just by that.

Oh come on, haven't you heard the phrase "Hoor ke saath langoor"? Who do you think the langoor is- the guy or the gal? :-)..Anyways, jokes apart, bad apples can be found everywhere, guess one shouldn't generalize. I plead guilty for that :-).

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