When Recession Strikes...

• A slight note of displeasure from the client turns into hour long meetings at offshore.
  

• Your manager sees you leaving the office at 6, and wonders if he should assign some more work to you.
  

• People no longer want to stay on-bench.
  

• You have to fight for every pen/stapler/notepad that you need in office.
  

• The toilet paper starts vanishing slowly from the bathrooms.
  

• You put in a little something for your company, your client, the stock market, the economy in your morning prayers.
  

• You start getting a nagging feeling, that you should update your resume and update your skills, so as to be prepared.
  

• You start reading economic section of the newspaper or check your company's stock value.

Deja Vu...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/26_November_2008_Mumbai_attacks

The spirit of Mumbai...
Mumbai bounces back...
Mumbaikars will fight back...

Messages that are supposed to make people feel good? I am tired of hearing that. Its being used as an excuse by politicians and administrators to not do their job.To me it just means that people are so used to these things happening, that nothing is too much for them. What other option do we have? Do we sit at home as the city gets flooded, as hooligans hold the city at ransom, as bombs go off in one place or the other, or as terrorists go about on a killing spree?

Thankfully, the politicians have so far not hogged the news. But that will not last long. In a day or two, the political circus will begin. We'll hear inflammatory speeches and blame games, homages to the brave security personnel, announcements of compensations;all in the name of political one-upmanship. When the storm abates, then these paper-tigers will come out and use this incident for their votebank politics.

I have no solutions,just a lot of questions.#@$@!%!#%#!%#@!%#@!%#@!I can feel this voice screaming inside my head, trying to make up swear words. Who do I direct it against? What do we learn from this? Fortunately/Unfortunately, public memory is shortlived. Just like numerous times in the past, this time too, we will raise a hue and cry and then things will be back to normal. There will be numerous villains who will come out of this whole mess. The only true heroes are the policemen, the security personnel, the fire brigade guys and numerous other good samaritans who have been in the line of fire. God bless them!

P.S: This is the second time in six months that I have had to write about this. I just pray that I will not have to do that again in a long time. I don't think I have the Mumbaikar spirit or the famed resilience of this city in me; to bounce back again and again.

What Do You Get When You Put Two Girls In A Room?

Contrary to what the title of this post suggests, this is not going to be a kinky post. So, if you wandered to this post, after reading the title,sorry to disappoint you.

Once upon a time, there were two female roomies....And they lived happily ever after.

Ever wondered why no one has ever heard of this story? One always hears that two females can't live together without murdering each other after a while. Although I think it's a tad bit exaggerated, it is true to some extent.

It's not that we live in a war zone. If you happen to drop in unannounced, you'll be able to hear scrambling going on the other rooms to hide underthings and other objectionable items. This is also accompanied by sounds of frantic attempts to dress appropriately, washing off the henna/egg/curd from the hair, scrubbing off face-pack. It's a myth that only guys live like pigs and a flat inhabited by females will always be all clean and pink and smelling like perfume. If it not were for the maid who cleaned our flats there would be unwashed dishes and laundry, hair here there everywhere. But God forbid, if two roomies fall for the same guy. Then all hell breaks loose. And like any war, there are innocent people who are affected;the other roomies.

All said and done, if you are lucky enough to live with like-minded females, life is all fun. Where else will you find companions for umpteen shopping trips, endless gossip/bitching sessions about movies, fashion, guys, work, family, etc etc. It makes a lot of difference between being able to enjoy living apart from family and wanting to run back home.

P.S:
And then there are female roomies who lived happily ever-after
Ever-after meaning
A. Till the end of the lease
B. Until they have a fallout
C. Forever...if they fall in love

Dumb And Dumber

"How did you fit ice into a bottle?"
Moi

"There is no impact to existing code/process."
The Idiot in the next cubicle

"I am sorry... 2 years." And she believed it!

Someone goes to jail,someone does not go to jail, something happens, something doesn't happen, we vandalize buses, train coaches, shops etc. As it is, there are so many problems with infrastructure in our country. And we have a mob that is ever-ready to destroy public property. Do they not realize that tomorrow when the rioting stops, they will not have enough buses/trains to travel in?

Wanted

JOB TITLE: God

SUMMARY

Responsible for all activities on Earth. Provide advice, assistance and follow-up on policies, procedures. Coordinate the resolution of specific policy-related and procedural problems and prayers.

PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITIES

• Responsible for all human/non-human resource activities to include birth, happiness, suffering, death of all species.

• Develop and maintain relationship with all incarnations and forms of self.

• Prepare and maintain historical data of activities performed by all species on earth.
  

• Analyze data and provide recommendations on allowing access to heaven or condemn to hell.

• Other duties as assigned.

KNOWLEDGE AND SKILL REQUIREMENTS

• Behavioral Attributes: omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, perfect goodness, divine simplicity, and eternal and necessary existence

• Strong interpersonal and communication skills.

• Knowledge of multiple human/non-human resource disciplines.

• Visibility requires maintaining a professional, calm and soothing appearance and providing a positive image to the public.

WORKING CONDITIONS

• Working conditions are extreme. Work may require evening and weekend work from the date of joining to eternity.

P.S: What made God accept this job??

Forgive me God, if this post is blasphemous. I hope that You have a sense of humor. Or at least are forgiving enough to ignore my extremely bad sense of humor.